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Supreme Being
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: 8/18/2010 10:56:15 AM
Posts: 149,
Visits: 637
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I don't think "dread" quite describes my feeling, but his return means I loss some of my independence, and that is very hard for me. Our life has to revolve around him so much, I can get resentful, and he can get irritable when I'm not available during his time off (that's a whole different issue though). After 14 months of long distance and being thrust into the military lifestyle, we both had to learn how to live with each other in our new life. It took a good 3 months before things felt like they should, but we're still working on it. It's so hard when he wants to spend every waking moment with me, and I just need some "me" time. That's why running is such a good outlet. It's my stress release for 30-60 min, and I always return in such a good mood. All considering, I wouldn't trade this great marriage for my complete independence back.
Nuts? No. I'm certain everyone has felt this on some level 
Lacy
Working on final test in basic section!
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Supreme Being
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: 3/24/2010 11:34:18 AM
Posts: 89,
Visits: 3,335
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Shiloh, I've had the same feelings when my husband comes home too. A friend of mine with 5 kids told her husband that she and the kids live on a well-oiled merry-go-round when he's gone. When he comes back they aren't going to stop it for him, he needs to jump on with them. It is a little harder for us because we don't have kids so my merry-go-round is just me sitting in a chair getting dizzy.
My husband is a submariner and has a very irregular schedule. Sometimes if he is home for too long I start to get antsy, and I'll ask if he is going to be leaving soon because I have a lot of stuff I need to get done. I can never get stuff done when he's home because I want to spend time with him.
~Janice~
member AHDI and OA-AHDI
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Junior Member
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:52:03 PM
Posts: 19,
Visits: 122
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bellagirl (6/17/2009)
Hi everyone!
I have only just joined this group.
My husband has been gone for over 7 weeks and will be returning home on Saturday. Does anyone out there have difficulty with their husband returning? That probably sounds crazy, but in some ways I am excited for him to come home and in others I am actually kind of dreading it. I feel really bad for even saying that, butI was wondering if that's just a feeling I have because of all the coping mechanisms we use while they are gone.
I would love someone to comment on this and tell me that I am not completely nuts!
Shiloh
I know exactly what you are talking about. My husband has been deployed 3 times in the past 6 years. While I look forward to seeing him again when he comes home, I am nervous about the months that follow a deployment. They are in a different state of mind when they come home and the adjustment can be tough for everyone.
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 7/20/2009 2:22:42 AM
Posts: 4,
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| Oh, wow. Thanks everyone for the responses. I feel so relieved that there are others out there who understand. I have been feeling so guilty for not wanting him to come home, especially since my girls are really excited about it. I think beginning school is going to be a great thing for me. I think it will really help with the way I am feeling. Thanks again everyone! 
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Forum Member
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: 3/11/2010 11:05:15 AM
Posts: 25,
Visits: 96
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| oh I love you all!!! Please don't feel guilty for dreading your husband's return. That would mean that many of us should feel the same. When my husband leaves I have to become supermom. I jump into it all. I even do things for others that I normally don't think that I have the time for. Supermom takes too much out of all of us, we can't do it forever. I get super excited before he comes home mixed with dread. Partly because I know I have to replace my routine around his schedule again, and it feels like he is being selfish. Also he is often tired of being yelled at and the stressfulness of his job that he doesn't want to do much when he gets home. I usually expect him to come home and put the house back together again. Last but certainly not least, He has grown, and I have grown, and it hasn't been together. I hate for him to leave, not so much because I will miss him but because of the hardship when he gets back. Most of us feel the same. My advice is to be patient, giving and go on dates.
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Forum Newbie
Group: Forum Members
Last Login: 8/12/2010 7:42:40 PM
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One thing I've learned is no matter how many times you go through a deployment, or training exercises, or whatever it may be, it never gets easier when they leave. It just gets harder. And Shiloh, don't feel bad. I always dread my husband coming back home. I think it's mostly because we have our own routine going, and things run our way and for the most part, pretty smoothly. To get them back into the swing of things calls for readjustment and stuff not running so smoothly! I love it when my husband comes home, but I also hate it, because it's almost like starting all over again. So, yes, it is normal as other people do feel that way!! Kudos to all you ladies. My husband is no longer active and he is nearing the end of his military career here in 2 months. It takes a strong woman to be a military spouse! Just remember that on your 'bad" days.
Nicole Grinnell
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Junior Member
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: Yesterday @ 10:52:03 PM
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mnpmoseley (6/29/2009)
oh I love you all!!! Please don't feel guilty for dreading your husband's return. That would mean that many of us should feel the same. When my husband leaves I have to become supermom. I jump into it all. I even do things for others that I normally don't think that I have the time for. Supermom takes too much out of all of us, we can't do it forever. I get super excited before he comes home mixed with dread. Partly because I know I have to replace my routine around his schedule again, and it feels like he is being selfish. Also he is often tired of being yelled at and the stressfulness of his job that he doesn't want to do much when he gets home. I usually expect him to come home and put the house back together again. Last but certainly not least, He has grown, and I have grown, and it hasn't been together. I hate for him to leave, not so much because I will miss him but because of the hardship when he gets back. Most of us feel the same. My advice is to be patient, giving and go on dates.
Yes!!! I was whining not too long ago about how his life goes on and my life goes on but OUR life is on hold until he comes home. It absolutely does not get any easier when they leave. For me, it gets harder each time.
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Supreme Being
Group: M-TEC Graduate
Last Login: 8/11/2010 2:58:17 PM
Posts: 367,
Visits: 652
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Hope I won't get in trouble for adding to this post being that I'm not a military spouse  I just wanted to let you all know how appreciative I am for the countless sacrifices you and your families have made. It amazes me how much strength and resilience you show. I will continue to pray for the safe return of your loved ones. Many thanks, Kris
 Happily employed M-TEC Grad, RMT, and Mommy!
Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly ~ Robert Kennedy
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Supreme Being
Group: M-TEC Student
Last Login: 2 days ago @ 9:27:20 AM
Posts: 88,
Visits: 138
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Im so sorry! I know you have been at it a while but I dont think it gets any easier!! Keep your head up!
Kristina
Army wife, and homeschooling momma to 3 great kids!
In the homestretch!!! Working my way through session 16!!
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